New Anti-Werewolf Law passes

February 13, 1996
By Robert Hacker, jr.

Yesterday werewolves were under threat only if they were caught transforming and attacking, or propagating their culture. Today they will be hunted no matter their behaviour.

The US Congress, British Parliament, Russian Congress, Chinese Politburo and Canadian House of Commons have passed new bills making being a werewolf completely illegal. The punishment is now corporal punishment on the spot.

“What has happened here today is the world governance showing real leadership under threat,” said Wyoming rep. Thurgood Mansfield. “We have dealt with the werewolf threat in strong, uncompromising terms: you are not welcome on our planet. I feel blessed to be not only an American, but a human too.”

Canadian Prime Minister Orland Lobos used slightly more toned-down words after Bill C-666 was passed. “We can think of a bright future now, all though it is a shame it has come to this.”

The new powers gives the Anti-Werewolf Forces all the authority they need to kill off the werewolf species.

“This is a message to the werewolves who darken our bright world,” said a source speaking on condition of anonymity because of ongoing investigations. “We will shine the light.”