Meet Joe Werewolf

report by Robert Hacker, jr.

Joseph Veriticus is a werewolf. He knows it and you need to know it too. Because, as he warns, if the world doesn’t begin to believe they exist, they soon won’t. And that will have dire consequences for the world’s eco-system.

As new Anti-Werewolf legislation is being considered by most western nations around the world – and the possibility werewolf population decrease – the 32-year-old half-man, half-beast has ignored warnings by Werewolf Nation, coming out of the shadows to warn humanity of what might come.

Veriticus believes that the world needs werewolves to ensure that Mother Nature’s balance is kept in tact. As the head of the food chain, werewolves keep their prey from running amok on the earth’s surface. Of course their favourite prey is human. Keeping our numbers down, so that the rest of the world might enjoy the planet’s gifts is what werewolves are about.

“You can’t put a value on how many lives – animal lives – we have saved by eating humans,” said Verticus as he munched on a rare t-bone steak at The Porterhouse Grill. “Humans could become more than a nuisance if they aren’t kept in check. Because of their nature – their beastly desire to control – they pose a significant risk to the world.”

Representatives for the Anti-Werewolf Forces, a global unit set up to fight werewolf activity world-wide, commented solely on condition of anonymity because of ongoing investigations, including some on Veriticus. According to the source, werewolves have begun an eco campaign in efforts to stifle human drive to wipe them out.

“Their whole game is to keep citizens confused, to subvert what we do here in the AWWF and destroy our way of life.

“But we’ll sort them out… one silver bullet at a time.”

Veriticus warns that such action will lead to an end of the planets resources because humans cannot help themselves. As a worker for the Agricultural Land Reserve, Veriticus says he has seen what our way of life is and it distresses him immensely.

“Un-checked, un-eaten, the human will kill off our planet. And it is ours, too.”