THE MOON/ MILLENIUM SETS ON WERWOLVES

By Robert Hacker, jr.
News Desk, 2000
Where have they gone? The full moons enter our skies monthly and nay a howl is heard from the Black Forest to the streets of Black Mountain. Where have they gone?

It has been years since anyone has seen a werewolf anywhere and if they are all dead then questions must be asked as to why we are still funding the Anti-Werewolf Forces and why they are needed. The AWWF has claimed that the numbers of werewolves on Earth are still very high and that we should remain vigilant whenever we are out of the security of our homes.

“We are still seeing a surge in certain areas of the globe where werewolves not only exist but are increasing in numbers,” said an anonymous source from AWWF.

Questions have been raised towards the AWWF’s policy of unnamed sources but AWWF officials remain unapologetic about their lack of transparency, years after being formed as an unknown group in the late ‘70s.

“We must protect our agents around the world by not giving their names away in news services or speaking about what they are doing in missions. We would put them in harms way if we did that,” said the source. So, the lack of transparency continues until further notice.

Meanwhile, the AWWF are conducting warrantless searches of homes in North America – especially in the Pacific Northwest, where 3,000 homes have been investigated over the past year for housing an illegal being – in the name of finishing off the werewolf population. Some homes have been found to hold Humans or Werewolves Lives (HOWL) propaganda and the inhabitants have been arrested on the spot.

“We are in the final days of this threat but they are still out there,” said Wyoming R. Rep. Thurgood Mansfield. “

According to Princeton lycanthropy research professor Desmond Lyons, PhD, there is little empirical evidence of werewolf existence. Prof Lyons claims the world is under severe threat of werewolf-phobia-behaviour (WPB), a disease he believes that inflicts humans when they fear what is unknown. He said that this was no more than another example of the “Little Albert experiment,” the John B. Watson experiment in the 1920s when he instilled fear in an infant by associating scary noises with a white rat.

“Right now,” said Prof Lyons, “the AWWF is doping us in to nothing more than the sounding of that gong.”

On the street, through anecdotal evidence, there is still much fear. People in North America have been claiming they stay inside on full moon evenings and keep their cooking to strict vegetarian meals on these nights.

“I don’t even look out my window on those nights,” said Shauna Mercy, a nurse at Nebraska University in Omaha. “I’m not going to let them hurt my kids or convert them in to dogs. That ain’t American. That ain’t right.”

In Canada, Marian Fourchet a dock worker in Montreal said he saw nothing wrong with being afraid of werewolves.

“It’s not like it’s unmanly to be scared of them,” said Fourchet. “We have to support our countries in times like this. If people like RuWolf (Sebastian Fang) were allowed to roam the streets and harm us then nothing would work. I wouldn’t work. I would sit in my home and cry and what good what that be? Our boys are fighting, we need to help them by doing as they say.”