Saturday, September 6, 2008

Things mom should have told you about aliens

5). Do not conduct intercourse with extraterrestrial beings:

How can this end well? Whether it’s an attractive girl from Cocoon or an ugly and powerful girl like the Queen Alien from Aliens, what is important is the answer to the question: what happens if someone gets pregnant? Well we saw what happened in the Aliens movies.

But there are far less disgusting – but just as terrifying – results awaiting you if you do get it on with an ET.

For instance who gets custody of the green little critter and how does that work when one parent lives on Earth and the other could live on a planet named Marmor 100s of millions of light years away?

What if, e-gads, that planet allows abortions to go on without a sniper following them around? That is a way of life we have here – do you want your half-earthling child to grow up in a planet like that.

What if they don’t believe in God? Your child could be raised to be an unholy little bastard and there is little you or your priest can do about it.

No, the complications are too many. The results too few.

Keep it in your pants.

1 comment:

Crabmonster said...

So, you found that website too?