Gotta have a share

“Morning – good morning. A Spormex get’s to have his share.”

The pilot begun to run his mind over the XzaneX hit:

“Morning – SaaaaaaaaaaDDDD Mornin’. A Spromex gotta grab his share!”

Chad – the pilot – a Spormex -- checked the window to his left Fan-Four Galaxy: Four gorgeous liveable planets, three pure resource planets and a bright young sun.

“Ah the golden age,” thought Chad.


Wait………………!!!!! No time for that. Purple and Green lights flashing after me…


Here they are, the Interstellar Travelling Space Police and their sinister friend Mr Ray Gun shooting on after like a fucking amazing dark plan right after our man Chad. Let’s go then.

They’ve been after him for thirty days on the space trip of a life time… the only way to do it is keep it really fast. Never slow down never give up, make space bend – make it bend down to earth on the long rainbow descent.

WAIT for no Police man. Always barge ahead, that was the Chad plan – barge ahead of any slow-ass punk not fast enough to fight for their share of the pie -- the reason for it: uncanny good forsaken fun.

Between the last galaxy and this one our man Chad had a thought that maybe the running wasn’t so good. His heart was beating mighty slow and maybe this hideaway plan Jimmy had – the Jimmy plan – was a better one and maybe they could find a drink of Move It on a surface bar. That would be nice. Drink Move Its all day, “ah dude it’s been way too long,” Chad said to his buddy on Zais, Jimmy, on his Sprint Spirit’ VisoTalk. He pulled a quick right in to the Spiral-Mono Galaxy.

“K’ Jimmy, your way.” Chad looked to his right... the fabulous Spiral-Mono Galaxy.

Oh Chad had heard of the “oasis” known as Spiral-Mono Galaxy: One liveable planet, one dead planet and bunch of bizarros surrounding them, spinning at tourist pace around a middle age sun. “Peace!” Chad wanted to say and get on with his day BUTTT-ttttt, the police kept it a coming.

Wahoo-wahoo-wahoo.

Chad sized up the deal burning out a stellar boom to the planet Three from Sun. Get off on this old school blue orb and roll with it for a while then stellar boom it over to the Fan-Four… oh the Fan-Four! Perfect size galaxy. He missed Fan-Four.

It took a long time to get Three from Sun but when he got on this low level civilization of Humanoids on Planet Three from Sun, he felt at ease. It was serendipitous. Green lush hills and bright blue sky made him sleepy and so he pulled over to some weak collection rocks. Possibly some sort of life exists in the rocks…

“Or maybe it was like the Reef on Lar-Lar, hmmmmm…
Fuck it. Let’s look for some Move It.”

The fire surrounding our man Chad’s Kick-Ass Spirit Sprint almost took our man Chad’s eyes out. He felt so humiliated. A scratch on this beautiful space cruiser, “oh poor me,” thought Chad.

A long journey that had seen its share of bumps and bale outs had made Chad Allen Bowellz -- our Spormex supreme – very tired but upon seeing the awesome hills that stood before his weak eyes, he made sure to take a picture with his phototron and SNAP! There my friends is Three from Sun on the baddest day of all – the arrival of our man Chad!

Chad moved on to the street so that he might take it all in…

“My god he’s parked on MY GRANDMOOOOOOTTTTHHHERRR!!!”

Sweet, Chad thought. Making friends already. He smiled took a shot with his phototron, which seemed to have an adverse effect on local leather, and said:

“Hi, no need to welcome me. Just another bloody trip from Zais.”

“Sooommee one call the authorities. Call the military! There is a monster on the loose!” a man cried running away.

Yes it all looked very amusing to our man Chad. He took the time to thank all his welcomers for his ear-piercing welcome but he wondered if they could quench his thirst… could they find him some “MOVE IT!” he enthusiastically yelled in excitement to his new friends. “MOVE IT NOW!” And he laughed.

The welcomers began running away but our man Chad was not perturbed by it. Instead he looked to the blue sky and didn’t see any ITSP making entry. What are they afraid of, Chad worried. They should come to me. I have it all, Charisma, Talent (best freestyle Moll in the Fan-Four galaxy), the ability to make people laugh… everything—shit god damn – basics on Zais but here it makes you a god.

“Dunno Jimmy,” our man Chad spoke to his watch. “If I can hack it out here,” Chad moseyed over to a beach and sat down. A group of people were kind enough to make way for him even though he just needed a strip. Stupid TFSers. Bunch of backward monkeys.

“Any Move It around here?” he yelled. Still more people just fucked off. Our man Chad was beginning to feel lonely. He missed Zais.

No! It was not lonely, it was only pathetic feeling of loneliness and that would pass, right?Our man Chad felt lonely and he made a move to the bar where people were dancing. Hey Chad wants to dance, thought Chad. TFSers had slow planet but it had some god-damn-fast music.

Our man Chad entered the music bar called Annabelles and parked his butt on the bar stool checking out the crowd. They didn’t seem to notice but Chad did notice the bartender was looking at him all real worried-like, like some sort of bad guy or something.

But they don’t get it, do they Chad. It’s not a crime to go for an Interstellar space trip – all Fan-Four planets now have the capacity to get out on it –that wonderful trip in a Spirit Sprint, the first civilian Interstellar Speeder. Back in the day you had to use those sloth-like FamWagins. They weren’t much use in leaving the galaxy. A new law says we can’t go but our man Chad don’t like that law and so he ignored it.
The bartender finally arrives and pluckily asks, “what are you having… AH, I can’t do it. Call the police.” And he bolts out the door.

“See ya,” said our man Chad, turning his head to watch the bar room dancing stop. “Can anyone serve me a Move It or not?”

He looked in the mirror and saw his beautiful red face and had a laugh. Behind him he saw many people march slow and cowardly out the front door. They didn’t dare to make eye contact with our man Chad. What retarded people live on this planet – “HAHAHAHA………………………………………….HA!”

The lights shining in the mirror blinded him and a quick THWACK! Ran across his back.

He woke up to discover that he was in jail. Perfect. Actually it could work, our man Chad thought. Even if the ITSP were to find his Spirit Sprint lying on those collapsible rocks, they won’t see his wonderful rosy face here. Those luckless suckers don’t talk to these Earth Police officers. Sweet.

They throw two other weridos in the box with our man Chad. Chad likes a good fight as much as he likes a sip of Move It. He thinks the one who thinks he’s a wolf would go a round with him. Maybe the skinny short guy who calls himself, The Breadman, wants to challenge Chad. Either way he’ll rendez vous fists with any earthlings skulls.

He then thinks, maybe the Breadman is called that because he’s like those good for nothing food suppliers in the jails back in Zais… maybe he needs to ask: “Move It?”

He asks two or three times wondering if the poor Breadman understands him clearly. He doesn’t. He just moves like the rest of them. So he lowers his head and shakes his fist but the Breadman doesn’t get it.

“Move little man.”

An hour later and the Breadman is sleeping and Chad has decided that the Breadman is not a food supplier and this Wolf Dude keeps harping about zombies and shit, well, Chad throws a large punch. The next punch he lands the Wolfman bites his exposed nose and Chad runs back. He don’t bleed like these TFSers. But it hurts bad.

“What are you doing?”

“I bit a cop so if you think, Chad, that I am afraid of biting you big boy then you are mistaken.”

The two sit down and Chad sees that the Breadman has awoken. So Chad asks one last time, his hope up: “Move little man?”

Chad sits back down with Wolfman and he asks Wolfman what he thinks about earth?


“I can turn anyone in to a werewolf, I am sure.”

“Did he turn?” Chad asks, curious if this zombie thing existed on Three from Sun.

Wolfman nods his head. “I ain’t ever gonna know, my good man. He pulled us off the bus that is sure. But whether or not a werewolf can turn a zombie in to a werewolf is unknown. Whether or not a zombie can turn a werewolf in to a zombie is unknown.”
“I think you get to choose,” the Breadman cries from the back of the cell. But his voice sounded so awful that he was ignored.

After the Breadman and the Wolfman were released, Chad began to fear he was going to be next. But if he was released? He mustn’t let that happen.

Chad paces and paces. He thinks and thinks. It’s only a matter of time. They got to let his type out. He only landed his car in a bad spot. Landing on the rock was no real crime. They had to let him out. Chad began to pace harder.

A nervous grip on his stomach rolled over and over and Chad began to sweat it.

“Hey when you guys letting me out?” Chad screamed. A Spant weight was lifted off his shoulders.

“You? You kidding me right? You ain’t ever going to leave.”

Perfect.

A happy morning. A Spormex has got his share.

For now.

Soon it will be another sad morning.

A Spormex gotta have his share.