1). Buy alien abduction insurance:
The rides in open space can be bumpy -- especially with a three-foot rod stuck up your large intestine. Isn’t it time you prepared for the worst?
Why take a chance that the anal probing won’t go wrong? You know it will – no man has ever walked from a probing without feeling a little different. Voices change, men buy purses and begin to cry. WE CAN OFFER MONEY FOR THIS!
The lame people with Heaven’s Gate knew all about space safety.There was a time when you could buy it directly from Goodfellow Rebecca Ingrams Pearson (GRIP). However, those days are done since those Heaven’s Gate pussies snuffed themselves before their alien overlords were able to abduct them properly.
As you look to the skies you need not feel fear for now you can buy AAI from The Theater of Technicolor Dreams. At $10 per month – a meagre $120 per year – we guarantee a pay out of 4000 pesos if you are abducted. If your story checks out and we can sell it to the press your benefits triple at no extra charge to you.
Too good to be true? You believe in aliens don’t you?
Buy now and we’ll throw in an Arizona Cardinals t-shirt from their 1998 glory season. Remember the “We are wild (card) winners” slogan? Neither do we – and now you can relive that slogan year-after-year.
TTD’s Alien abduction insurance. For when beam me up Scotty goes very badly.
No comments:
Post a Comment